


To my first love

by Lazy_baby13



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Mr Beast - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_baby13/pseuds/Lazy_baby13
Summary: This a letter to my first love so I hope you enjoy reading it. This is Sapnap writing a letter to Karl about a friend they both knew very well and now he has neither of them.





	To my first love

Dear you,

How does it feel to be with her? Does her smile light up the room still? I wish I knew. Does she treat you right? You know you used to tell me not to be her friend, was it because you liked her? You really seemed to dislike her but I kept you both. Until you chose her and she chose you over me. I always say I’d take her back in a heartbeat as my friend over you. The more time I start to see her true colours I start to doubt myself. 

Do you still like being little spoon but lying about it? Do you miss the way I used to kiss your cheek over and over? You always told me that was your favourite. Does she joke around like we did? Does she treat you right? You left me for her. It’s been over a year and I still love you. I love the way you smile and your dimples I love your laugh. I still love you. 

I tell everyone I would never go back to you but I still don’t know if that’s truthful or not. You sparked a fire in my soul that only you could light. So tell me was she worth it? Were they all worth it? Did you enjoy breaking me they way you did? I’ve noticed that I’m getting happier but also not I get stuck but I’m working on myself like we always talked about. 

I still dream of you. I fall for people I know who won’t want to be with me because I don’t want anyone but you. I’m tired of waiting for you. I’m tired of loving you. I’m tired of waiting for you to text me and tell me you love me. I’m tired of wanting you. A piece of me will forever be yours. But I can’t let you rule my life anymore. I know you’re not coming back.

I hate how you made me believe in love and made me fall so hard. I hate that seeing you with kids made me want my own so bad. I hate that you made me want a family with you. I hate that I introduced you to my mom. I hate that forever my heart belonged to you. How do I say goodbye to that feeling I get when I see you? The butterflies the memories the I love you’s. I don’t need to forget you but I need to let you go but how? 

You showed me parts of myself that I love and parts that I hate l. I often wish I can turn back time and take back every mistake I made and have you in my arms right now but that won’t happen. I know it won’t I’m aware. I asked myself was I not enough for you? Maybe. But I wasn’t enough for myself. I’m learning to be enough for myself. I don’t need a boy to define me.

I’m learning to happy for who I am even if sometimes I get embarrassed of myself. I’m learning to look at you too and love you less. I’m learning that you might not have loved me like I loved you. How I love you. I loved everything even your flaws.

What have you done to me? Why did you make me feel this way? Well you know what I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to let the love go. I’m ready to say goodbye to wanting to have you back. I’m ready to say goodbye to what we had. I’m ready to let you live your best life both of you even without me. So I’m ready. Even if I’ll always have a soft spot for you and care about you. I’m ready to have that place in my heart for you and love you but not give it to you. I’m ready to not let you have power over me. I’m ready to let you go but I don’t have to forget.

Goodbye, you.


End file.
